A Wife's Perspective

I hope that you guys can receive this post with the sincere sentiment that it is posted in.

My husband has been doing PE that he found on the internet for about 6 weeks, although he has tried other things off and on for years. I understand that he truly has a hang up about his penis size, which, by the way is ample, average and completely satisfactory to me.

The reason for my post is this...

I noticed that hubby was mysteriously dissapearing at night, for prolonged periods of time. He also smelled like baby oil and so did our room. I don't consider myself ultra perceptive of things, but this was definately noticable to me. Nothing divides a marriage quicker and deeper than a secret. I knew something was up (pardon the pun). Two weeks of pure hell ensued because I knew he was hiding something from me...of course my mind goes directly to thinking that he is having an affair (as would most womens I think).

My point is, if this is something that is that important to you that you are intent on doing it, why arent' you discussing it with your wives? I mean, we are supposedly going to be the recipient of this new and improved body part are we not?

Hubby and I have worked out our disagreements on this issue and I hope that all of you guys that have wives can come together and talk openly about what is really going on. We decided that it was more damaging to our relationship for him to be squirreled away for up to 2 hours a day working on his penis than any possible gain he may get. I in turn agreed that I would help out and do a little "work" on him each time we get "frisky". This (for us) is a happy medium. I wish you all the best of luck with your endeavors, whatever they may be! Just don't forget your wives please...we are implicated in this too!

(sorry if you feel intruded upon by my post...hubby and I read the bb together)

for me, keepin it away from my wife would be part of the experiment of PE. by keeping it away from the wife, it will keep the wife from having what is called the hawthorn effect. (i think this is the right term, its been a while since my psyc intro class). if he told you, the next time you saw it, you might think its bigger or there is a change, when really there isnt...but you just say it because you are expecting a change...


by keepin you from knowing, he will be able to see if it is really working. when you say "Honney, your penis is huge!", it will make him know for a fact that his penis is bigger...


hope i shed some light on this...just my opinion...

peace,
TUS

Just out of curiosity, how big is your husband's penis? You said that he's "ample, average and completely satisfactory to me". I'm always curious what women consider to be average or satisfactory.

[1 quest]

I informed my wife the day I started, and explained the benifits and draw backs of performing PE. She also was happy with my size, and has backed me 100 percent.

( ALSO NO COMPLAINTS OF MY GAINS)






quest

HappyCamper2001

I agree with TUS… when someone as close as my wife notices there is a different feeling of size it is important. It means that our hard work is paying off and we get a real feeling of accomplishment. One thing that I do not do and that is broadcast that I am starting a new “fad” and then having it not succeed. Like a new years resolution or a new diet, god knows how many of these we have started from time to time and found not to work. So why should I tell my wife that I am embarking on a new “project” and then face the humiliation when it does not work.

You see I have been looking on the net for a few years to find such a site as this and I AM DAM HAPPY THAT I FOUND IT. I would also like to tell you that it works for me and it only took my wife a month to know that something was different. This for me was as exciting as winning the 100 meter men’s race. I was as proud as hell. That is when I told her what I was doing (PE) and we had a very positive and in-depth discussion about this matter. She is even encouraging me to keep up the good work.

Although I thought I was small, starting at 5.5 ELBP and 5.25 EG in early January, I now measure 6.25 ELBP and 5.75 EG on April 1, 2001. It was the early gain in girth my wife noticed first. She knew something was going on as my daily routine changed to some degree, but she also knew that I would not be chasing another skirt. She was right and we are both happier for it.

So instead of all the negative vibes, try a good measure of positive encouragement. It will make your relationship stronger and longer lasting.

Good luck.

[Stillwantmore22]

Told my then wife too. We've since separated for personal reasons but, the PE was not the reason trust me. She knew I was doing it after a few days...couldnt really hide being in the bedroom with the door locked for 45 min or so a day. She enjoyed knowing that I was "doing it for US"....as I put it. Of course she too liked the girth increase. from 5 to 5.75. I say let him go for it myself. It could enrich your lovelife and bring you closer together....but, then it pretty much sounds like you wear the pants in the house and your decision will stand firm. Thank gawd I'm an Alfa male. Whew!

Well guys, she's right and you know it. You keep a secret from your wife for a while and WHEN she finds out, she feels deceived. And that's even if you were doing something for her (inadvertently). Deception always ends up with us dealing with her crying and the phrase, "You just don't understand how that makes me feel." When I had my discussion with my wife she kept telling me I was fine and all that stuff they've memorized from some "chicks only" website on how to pacify your somewhat insecure husband. My only ammunition was that she didn't have perfect tits and you know my angle from there. She kept trying to drive me into submission with the "you're fine" routine and I kept guiding her into self improvement is more than just mental masturbation (Hah!). Well, the boob job has definitely been worth it and now the wife realizes how important this is to me since she sees the benefits on herself and yes, here it comes, in herself!
Love,

TC

[getting some]

In the past, my wife made a post in reference to PE. She is ok with my little hobbie, yet feels there is no need, saying I'm just fine. She does like the side effects though, ie; harder, and a larger flaccid appearance. She just found out today I am also a member of Big Al's site as of last week. She does the bills, put two and two together, and there you have it, she know is concerned that I may need to see a shrink! Go figure, It's ok to be a member of this board, yet when I pay for it, I have issues. Either way, I'm gonna keep on with the program, after fifteen years, I doubt she'll leave me for pullin on my weenie. Peace!!!! Getsome

HappyCamper2001,

My name is Miglan Arauz. My wife does not like it when I jelq she has made this perfectly clear. She also encourages me to go to her church and even slightly pressures me. Now your husband may agree to giving up PE out of his fear for losing you, but realize that this is not a good thing. Why is it that bothers you about him pulling on his penis? Granted you may find the idea ridiculous and may not care, but how would you feel if you suddenly took up and interest for ceramics and your husband told you that the time you spent learning ceramics would be better spent with him? Now at this point you may say, "it's not the same thing", but realize that PE to us men is as relevant as weight training or physical exercise. Try to be supportive of your husband's dreams whatever they might be, you might think that your husband is perfectly happy following whatever you say, but trust me he is doing it more because he wants his relationship to be conflict free. By not allowing your husband to be himself you are turning him into a "whipped pathetic version of himself" you are missing out on the man you fell in love with when you dated. Humans need projects we need things to keep us motivated, even if this means pulling on their penises. Do not belittle or make fun of him, he is not hurting anybody. It makes him happy to do this, would you rather live with a man who obeys your every command or with a man who is spontaneous, follows his dreams in life and has vigor and energy and vitality. If you want to find the real man you married than do not try to become his mother, he already has a mother, and did not marry you because he wanted to be babysat, he married you because he liked you as a gal not as a boss. Excuse me if I offended you, but realize that PE is not a criminal activity and is harmless, and most importantly realize that we men become slightly dissapointed in women when they seek to become our second mothers and seek to "improve us" and belittle our own ideals and values, please do not listen to those women who tell you that the best husband is the one who follows your every command and has your same opinions and points of view on everything, guys like who they are, they don't like it when they are told what to do as if they did not have intelligence of they're own, and no we are "pigs" or "lazy bums" but we are also not asexual or slaves, we are humans we like to eat, have good hearty sex, work out, look good, do good to mankind, sleep, be good at our jobs but not let it be the point of our lives, and we like to relax and chill, and some of us like PEing, I realize women want a dependable, hard working, responsible, mature, good father, husband, but we need to sleep, we are not slaves, god did not create us to love solely work and money, be asexual, dislike women's bodies other than your wives, and have as our number one goal in life to work incessantly to provide for the house and support eight kids. We are human, we like to become the teenagers we used to be, we like that side in us that liked getting laid, we like women who appreciate us not just for our money but for who we are, we like women who support us in our dreams and stop trying to change us as if we were already not good enough. Please wives if you really want to know the amazing individuals that your husbands are, seek not to change them, but support them and see the unique gift that they have to offer to the world, do not listen to other women, listen to your fathers and grandfathers, they will tell you what men are really like and what they truly love in a woman. Sorry for this rather long post. I would encourage you to let your husband PE, you'll be glad you did after you see how happy he is that the woman he loves supports him. Great men are who they are because they have a wife who supports them.

[titanium30]

Very well said Miglan.

Titanium

[phat9]

have not responded on this board. I think Ms. Happycamper2001 typifies the "average" wife, not really caring one way or the other but seeing no need in it and unhappy that she has been "deceived."

We should not seek to "deceive" our wives and GFs, guys, but I can see why some do. For every woman who enjoys a "larger" size AFTER PE, there are probably 6 who still don't care, that is just the way women are wired. The exception is this new upcoming Gen "X" group, who is exposed on the Net to a proponderence of disproportionately hung/"computer enhanced" peni. They have unrealistic expectations, but they are still the vast minority.

Tell your wives, don't hide it. It sounds like Happycamper was disturbed that her hubby would "choose" his penis over her, and many guys on this board would do just that. We each answer to our own selves.

Me, I told my GF and she is absolutely FINE with it, but we are not in the same house, yet. When she moves in I dunno what will happen after a couple hours of heavy hanging behind a locked door from the kids, and my sexy GF (oh gawd is she) comes to me and asks: "Honey, I'm so horny, I want you to put it to me." Then, I have to manage some erection with a sore, bruised, swollen, fatigued penis........... I dread that and we have not discussed that much. I think that is the tradeoff we face here.

My GF is extraordinarily large "down there" and loves extra size. It DOES matter to her and she LOVES bigger, but she would think no less of me if I were smaller, at least that is what I believe. Now, I really don't know. She loves the sight of a bigger one and it helps her fantasize and get in the mood, but I'd have to honestly say I don't know what difference it has made, since I was big to begin with.

I have asked her to "help" me but she does not know what that means. She was excited that we could integrate pumping into sexual relations at even bigger size.

Bottom line: If I had "hidden" this from her, she'd be MAD AS HELL, just like Happycamper2001 was. I think if married or in a relationship we owe it to them to at least tell them what we are doing with time we could be spending it with them, then if they don't respect it and let us enjoy what gives "us" joy, then to hell with them.

It all goes to the "type" of woman, either she respects and honors her man or she is selfish.

hi all,

I read Happycamper's post, then a bunch of the replies...and I dont get where some of you guys see her post as being negative, unsupportive, etc. For me, all she was saying is that if you're in a loving, trusting relationship, she feels you should tell your partner about your goals and projects, especially one that 1: takes alot of time and effort, and 2: will potentially affect the relationship. What's unsupportive or discouraging about that? maybe I'm misunderstanding; please explain.

BTW personally, I think both these points are valid, and agree with them.

regards,

z444

z444, I agree. Her post wasn't intended to be demeaning, but rather to encourage us to confide in our other half. As you said, I also agree with both sides, but I for one will continue to try to make my gains privately and for reasons mentioned: first, she would say, I like you the way you are. Well is this really true? Can I really believe that, or is she just being supportive of my current size. Second, she would probably think that I was hurting myself somehow and say how dangerous and silly it is - she wouldn't understand the importance of it to me; she can't understand how I (many of us) feel about my (our) penis size and have for all my (our) live(s). Third, I would like her to notice the difference and not perceive some difference by knowing what I've been trying to accomplish. Those are my true feelings and based on them, my decision not to say anything is the best for me. That's not to say it isn't difficult to find private time - it is and as a result, I may not make the gains as quickly as I hope, but so be it.

Hi,

I realize my post may have come out as too preachy and negative. I apologize if this is the case. I was concerned however when HappyCamper2001 mentioned that both she and her husband had come to the agreement that he stop PEing. Sounds to me like the husband is scared that if he continues PEing his wife will get mad at him. All I'm saying is that if he really wants to PE, hey why not? He certainly does not have to PE for two hours for the session to have an effect, 10 minute hot wrap, 30 min jelquing, 10 min hot wrap, adds up to 50 minutes, it is still a lot of time, but nowhere close to two hours, or forget the hotwraps and just do 30 minutes jelquing, some people claim gains from just jelquing without hot wrap, hey 30 minutes is still a lot of time, but don't most of us spend this time elsewhere anyway?

Everyone has different sorts of relationships. I frankly can't see telling any of the three girls with whom I've had long-term relationships that I sit in the bathroom squeezing my dick to try to make it bigger. They'd think I was ridiculous, vain, maybe even a little perverse. They certainly wouldn't believe I was doing it for them. So it just wouldn't benefit me to talk about it.

I agree with you 100%.