Wah! Wahh!! I can't get an erection guys!!

[Akira]

I'm having problems getting and sustaining an erection with my Girlfriend when in bed...normally when we hug and kiss i (may) get one, but when we are naked and get more intimate i can't seem to get it up!! :(
Even when she tries to get me aroused by using her hands...etc

I know that there's nothing (or atleast there shoudn't) wrong with my Physically, since i get them whilst watchig porn, thinking really randy thoughts and such.

Is it a psychological problem you guys think?? She's my first girl friend and i AM still a virgin after all so it could be anxiety?? :(
I remember reading an article in an Agony Aunts column; this guy whose in the army had similar problems too, and the reply was that because he was away for so long (touring the world, etc) he never got any action and relied on porn, this kinda caused him to be only turned on by porn...i hope my infatuation with porn hasn't destroyed my potential sex life :(

Anyone got any past experiences or advice they can share?

Ak.

[SirJelqAlot]

a similar thing happened to me a while ago. when me and my girl kissed and did ontop of the clothes groping, id get hard as a rock, as soon as i got naked it would go down, i tried taking gingko as i heard it could help, so i took 75mg a day and everything was fine, whether i needed a placebo and got one or gingko actually works, i dont know. but i stopped taking it and could still get hard, now i take it to boost my pe efforts.

in your case its anxiety, your worried about your first time being crap, well dont, i think almost everyones first time is crap in one sense, i know my girl didnt cum the first 4-5 times we had sex, because i was a virgin and didnt know how, if she knows your a virgin then (no offence) but she shouldnt expect much, you dont put on some new trainers and expect to run a marathon. on your first time go slow, just get a feel for what its like, dont focus on either of you cumming, and just go. if it means alot to you that she cums, do it manually or orally afterwards.

hope this helps.

SJA

[Akira]

Originally posted by SirJelqAlot
a similar thing happened to me a while ago. when me and my girl kissed and did ontop of the clothes groping, id get hard as a rock, as soon as i got naked it would go down, i tried taking gingko as i heard it could help, so i took 75mg a day and everything was fine, whether i needed a placebo and got one or gingko actually works, i dont know. but i stopped taking it and could still get hard, now i take it to boost my pe efforts.

in your case its anxiety, your worried about your first time being crap, well dont, i think almost everyones first time is crap in one sense, i know my girl didnt cum the first 4-5 times we had sex, because i was a virgin and didnt know how, if she knows your a virgin then (no offence) but she shouldnt expect much, you dont put on some new trainers and expect to run a marathon. on your first time go slow, just get a feel for what its like, dont focus on either of you cumming, and just go. if it means alot to you that she cums, do it manually or orally afterwards.

hope this helps.

SJA

I thought it was due to anxiety as well, but i don't feel anxious with her at all! Could anxiety be sub-concious? As in you don't FEEL anxious but sub-conciously, deep in your mind you are and as a result these physical problems occurs? Just a thought. I've been giving her it "manually" and orally, if only i get an erection :(
What i'm intending to do is lay off ALL porn for an entire 2 weeks (before i see her again) and try and get erections purely from thoughts, and perhaps try some of the gingko(?), What is it, some form of ginseng medicine presumably?

Thanks for the reply, i really needed to talk to someone about this.

Ak.

[luvdadus]

You have describe a classic case. I think that laying off porn is a good start. Take pressure off yourself by agreeing with her that for a while you will not penetrate her in sexplay for a while - even if you get a good erection. Once you have sucess seeing that your erections are fine with her, then go ahead if you like.

[SirJelqAlot]

i think along with laying off porn, try laying off all ejaculation as well, this also helped me, as i got really horny, so i forgot any nerves i had, also good advice from luvadus about saying im not going to penetrate thus taking the pressure off yourself.

SJA

[Akira]

Yeah, i'm definately gonna lay off porn for now til i see her again, i'll try hard to not masterbate (i'm such a wanker :D ), hehe.

Hopefully by the time i see her, my sexual urges would be soooo strong that i'd totally forget about everything in the world :)

Good thing i like going down on her ;)

Thanks for the replies lads, i'll keep you informed on how things are going!

Ak.

[twatteaser]

Well since you have a self-pleasuring fetish, It may be hard to break. I know, I spank it like 5 times a day. God! Do I need to get a girlfriend again! Anyhow, enough of my verbal diahrea!

Try and devote the time you used to "unleash the hounds" to PE instead. Please try not to cum as you may taint progress in this area.

I remember when I didn't spank for like 5 months staright as I was chasing and landed my then girlfriend. Though with sexual frustration I could punch through a car windshield. I think it propeled me into the relationship by laying off the porn and spanking.

Also look at diet, stress from school or work, as well as drug and alcohol use. The adage of whiskey dick never affected me, but SSRIS do like Zoloft. Etc.........

I do agree with my peers like Luvdadus (and his medical opinions) and SJA's common sense and antecdotes of how it will work out.

[Akira]

Yes, masturbation has become (almost) a daily routine; very hard to break. But every time i get the urge i'll just think back to that night and re-kindle the frustration i had; this will be my inspiration! :D

I haven't got the hang of PE'ing yet...i find it hard to jelq for more than 5 minutes, and even then it's even harder to try and sustain a semi-erect state. I've been doing some kegels though (that's when you 'twitch' the muscle in the groin; the same action used to stop yourself urinating mid-way right?)

Btw SirJelq, you haven't told me what this "gingko" is yet :D

Ak.

[twatteaser]

Try some stretching then. How about a Power-Jelq or make your own for even LE$$! Maybe the vids on the site would help you out. Look for Gandolf's videos of instructional exercises on Big Al's FMO Yahoo Groups.