Inside TEKCON's Mind :))__))__)):

[Tekcon]

It's an electronic journal that I am typing on right in front of me. The drugs that I have just taken to eleminate my emsomnia, puts me in a very very deranged state of mind. You fuction like an alcoholoic how took some small little LSD pill, followed by an injection of herowin.

No you have the backgorund behind this frenzie... it's gon'na look like something out of a book by Hunter S Thompson, and Disney. It will be a fun ride boys and girls. Or at least for me, I'm now doccumenting it via on a PENIS ENLARGEMENT FORUM THAT IS THE BEST PLACE TO BE!!!


No then, this little sccen begins tonight with the boy on drugs sitting on his bed type on the interent and the experience that happen and occur. His hands seem to be the last free parts of his body, since everything else is gone. The mind controls me know, and what the mind wants me to see, tells me to tell the hands to type it.

A large banging noise strikes at my ear, signalling a raid of a thousand ghouls to be going through a battle crashing at the front gates.

Ourstory goes further the two strands of hair on my head, were attempt to make love. Moving, and moning. These piecies of hair are about make love on my head. That is not right. I get to be the first one that has sex on this body, not you your fuckkin hair, yeah, you run. The hair rain into the hallway. Bing.

The text thtat I am writting write now, doesn't stay in place. It moves left, and then to right, In circles, swaps it fast. Sometimes in looks like it is on a wavy cloth that is coming towords and the only thing that is protection me is this horrible ******* bar. Love and sex are leaving, and not making an attempt to kill me. That could change by morningl.

Part of the pain of this is... I'm scared that I looked at my clock... it is 12:10- which says 12:10. I like to look at the clock and tell me my perfect partner.

OPIII'm in a drug trance right now where everything is just going to be sheld out.

What is the perfect partner huh/ The girl that I find is hot who won't go out with me is what I wan't because of her personality makes her seem like she is way out of my league. Thene there is this other girl who is the nices friendliest girl I know, but the problem is that I can't find it even possible to fanatize having sex with her because of her apperemce. It almost seems like there is the perfect woman out ther... but we have be like
Frankenstien and create them... look tnose guys in weired scienece.

I don't know,
I have a real high fear of rejection when it comes to asking a girl out on the date.
No real problems talking to woman, can do it often. It's just when I try to turn on in flirting , I want sex mode, no bites. They think I'm just joking and laughing, and to prevent me from being embarassed I laughed to... to show that I didn't hurt her, and she didn't hurt me... Then she starts going to this guy who I don't know who he is, kissing her. Hs tiong actauully came out her asshole it was soo deep a kiss. I wanted to cry that I wasn't that guy she picked.... then I wanted to kick the shit out of the guy and make him cry.

And in the end, I go through the party, being that guy in the center of the night, with beer in one hand and the cigarette in the other. Looking around at all the happy couples dancing slowly togetjer at tjis party. I'm left alone. I want so baddly, but I am going to die alone because I don't have to balls to exeprese myself to a girl with oit getting denied. Then how to bounce oup...

My cords are trying to strangle me. After I have killed them, I am going to go to sleep and dream of the girl who says "In your dreams." Best place next to heaven.

[Tekcon]

Wholely HELL!!! I was really screwed up on medication when I wrote this...

Uhm admins, think you could delete this thread if I promise not to post under the influence.

Thx...

[twatteaser]

It is quite interesting, in a delightfully disturbing way.

Seems that you have an issue with rejection and are torn between a sweet but perhaps homely girl and some other who you believe is out of your league.

Don't worry I have been there and then some. I assume you don't really think of yourself as witty and able to "capture" the attention of the real looker. I have traveled that path too.

I had an excellent run of luck, fate, or perhaps the gods themselves turning the tables in my favor a few years back. Boy was that fun! It seemed I could do nothing wrong in the girl's eyes. I was like I want to sit and be miserable at a bar and all of a sudden they wouldn't stop talking to me. Even when I was rude and condescending they still wanted more. I felt like I had $100 bills tied around my neck or something. For I assumed this was the way they had found some disturbing form of interest in me.

Bottom line is it is you and you alone who chooses to sit alone. You cushion yourself in a half-hearted attemp grabbing at the real fine one. Meanwhile, a normal girl seems to show interest in you.

For me the greatest attraction in a girl is one that has found some interest in me. I would assume you perhaps see how this average girl likes you and to what degree. If a guy like me can clean-up real nice with a shave, a haircut, a good shower, and some OK clothes then by logic so can your girl. Maybe she has that school marm look. Perhaps she wears glasses or doesn't fix her hair just right.

I had my first love with a girl who had roseca and covered her face up with make up. I saw it one day and paused for a split second and realised that everything else meshed far too well to bitch about it. She also used to be fat and had huge horsehips left after the weight-loss before I got to her. No problem there after a second. She had an angelic face with the deepest blue eyes imaginable. Naturally dirty blonde hair that was long that I could imagine cuddling under. A sleek sexy neck too.

By chasing her, actually she chased me. I am such a coward on initiating the mating game, others saw me in a new light. I had her cousin after me. Then the bar whore waitress and a really unintelligent girl who couldn't pass high school who was 6ft chasing me. It is the law of supply and demand. If I am without recourse in a female, I am by myself. When I have one at my side, girls see it as something they care to posess.

I hardly consider myself good-looking. Maybe medium decent at best on a good day. But a few guys on here have seen my pic and that of a girl or two I have dated. DLD, SWM, Secjay, Kastro, and a few others that I talk with outside these forums.

My advice is take what is available. She could turn out to be a real gem hidden in the dust. Besides your looking to play NCAA Division I basketball and don't even have enough experience to make the Frosh HS Team as an anolgy. I have been there. Baby Steps Dude! One step at a time. Otherwise your fate is too be trapped on the couch as the observer at the party. Never to participate. If Mike Tyson was afraid of being knocked out or taking a nasty punch he would have never entered the ring. So get out and buy yourself a pair of black Everlast boxers and get your ass in the ring.

I think this thread is valid. Please feel free to discuss some more. I would love to hear it. I think we can each learn from each other plus the ton of readers of this post.

I have more to tell as do you, but only some replies and your consent will keep this thread alive. Otherwise I assume one of the other mods will delte it for you. Sometimes what alters are minds gives us a chance to discuss and get off our chests what really bothers us. Your choice my friend. What will it be? I will respect your wishes either way.

[twatteaser]

I must say I do love a good drink as often as possible. Free is your friend. But free Liquor is your best friend. What were you taking when you crafted this? Are you for real with the middle text message or is it a set up?

[Tekcon]

It is a pill that I have a perscription for my insomnia. Some nights I can't sleep, or feel even tired, so I take them. Basically I'm good for five minutes, then I become the fastest drunk possible within 20 minutes. This puts me to sleep, but sometimes I challenge the pill (which isn't good) and try to stay up.

So I am basically a very intoxicated person who is completely gone.

No actuall alcohol involved, but that is what it feels like.

[twatteaser]

5htp works well for sleep. Is cheap too! Same is more expensive but the same result plus help with athritis too.

So are you really telling us something or just playing melodrama theatre 101?

[Degarmo]

Can I get it somewhere? What is it? I have a hard time sleeping alot also...

[twatteaser]

Available in any health food store or online. IT is the chemical precursor to seratonion. Which is a vital brain chemical that determines mood. You have heard of SSRIs like Zoloft, Paxil, and Prozac which keeps more of the Seratonian in your brain from "drying back up" or being reabsorbed for later use. This crestes more by itself. Look it up on google to get the whole spiel.

[dafatguy]

TT excellent reply bud good insight keep up the good work

[Tekcon]

I just reread what I wrote.

Um just some things about it. I am an actor so I tend to be very dramatical in my life. With the drugs hitting me, i go into an extreme case of melodrama.

Some of the shit that I wrote was just strange. The thing about a thousand ghouls... I think that was my mail client telling me I had mail.

The two hairs fucking, got me, I don't know what that is about.

The clock time--bad attept to go into the next paragraph.

My situation with the laddies and how I feel---pretty much true.

The fact that I was on a heavy sleeping drug trying to stay up and see what damage I could do=Priceless.

I feel just a bit strange admitting this to a bunch of people I don't know other than their personalites from their posts here.

Later

[twatteaser]

Don't worry I have had dates that were like the last 45 minutes of Natural Born Killers.

[Degarmo]

It's taken me 2 or 3 days, but thanks for the info TT.. I'll look this stuff up and see what I can learn...